Bridges or Barriers: The Beauty in Struggling

Guest Blogger: I have a basic theory on “souls” that I compare a persons inward being to different types of materials.  Based on their drive, their countenance, and their quirks they are cotton, silk,cashmere, velvet, burlap, lace-you get it.  My dear friend, Elizabeth and I have had the opportunity to get to know each other this year, and we quickly found out that our souls are made of the same material.  We think and feel deeply, and love to journal almost as much as we love to laugh. I’ve been so blessed by her thoughts, encouragements, and personality, and I was very excited when she agreed to let me post some of her thoughts in my blog! Elizabeth’s story encourages me to struggle well. She challenges me to delight in my Savior, realizing what a prize He is, and she reminds me that the end will be so worth ANY amount of struggling! Be blessed!

 

“This summer I went on a pretty thrilling hike. In a jungle. In Indonesia. Down to a 300 foot waterfall. Where few had ever been to before. So many thoughts, feelings, and sights are attached to the memory of it.

The struggle it was to get down. The sliding down steep mud and grass. Holding onto ropes and maneuvering down bamboo shoots with small openings cut out for our feet. The hundreds of eagle-sized bats swarming high up in the sky above us. The work that it took to make it there but thinking the whole time about how beautiful it might be at the end. Making my way down, although slightly treacherous, generated in me a feeling of tension but also a deep, excited joy. I didn’t even know what was at the end- our guides thought it was best not to reveal to us what were about to see until we got there ourselves. So I continued down the steep, rough path with anticipation, simply knowing that the end would be good.

I’ve been struggling through the season of life I am in currently. Facing unknowns about my future. Experiencing pain from feeling misunderstood. Battling against weakness. Fighting inward tensions that feel paralyzing. Making my way down a steep, rough path.

Yet at the same time, I almost feel content. Somehow, I am experiencing peace and comfort and incredible joy. And even the pain and struggle, although still present, although still strong, feels almost right.

I think I am supposed to be having this struggle right now. I think God is moving. And He’s leading me somewhere I need to go.

Can pain really ever feel comfortable? I think the closest to it, is knowing- DEEPLY knowing- when in pain, that it ultimately is going to bring about something good that will be worth it. When I have such a deep assurance in my soul that the outcome will be beautiful and will bring a harvest of righteousness, then although pain is still pain, it becomes the closest to comfortable it can be and a quiet, surreal joy follows that is like nothing else I’ve ever experienced.

For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it (Heb 12:11).

And what if the path not only feels rough but also feels lonely? Can loneliness, feeling misunderstood, or unknown, ever be seen as a gift?

The past few months, I have collected a number of experiences that have completely changed me and in some senses have thrown me into a tumultuous whirlpool of questions, tensions, emotions, transformations, and new perspectives… It’s all come together in my mind like a big, beautiful secret that makes me feel alone in my inward battles as a result. And that feels painful.

Yet, the inward questions, the silent wrestling, the lack of feeling truly understood, has forced me to scream questions that I have never asked before with such sincerity.

“God, do you hear me?”

“Did you just see what I saw?”

“Do you know the struggles I’m experiencing? Every emotion running through me?”

“Are you really with me, Father?”

The answers to these questions have left me showered in hope and overwhelmed in comfort.

The loneliness in my struggles has been a gateway into recognizing what deep communion with my Father entails. The moments of being richly fed by His Word and His presence have continued to multiply. The peace and sincere satisfaction in knowing Him and being known by Him have overflowed into thankfulness and life that seems too good to even be true. And it’s not that other people haven’t been able to give to me and support me in very meaningful ways. It’s just that my Father’s communion and presence amidst the struggles have been limitless, rich, deep, and beautiful beyond comparison.

God, have you given me so much grace that I can honestly say that the quiet war I am experiencing right now is a gift from you? That the struggles, the moments of weakness, the anxiety, the steep and rough path I am walking is-no question-the perfect path for me right now?

It’s throwing me into Your presence. It’s grounding me deep in your Word. It’s granting me a view of Your plan. Your purpose. Your desires. It’s nudging me to pursue Your wisdom. To hear Your voice. It’s establishing for me a stronger confidence in the hope of one day seeing the prize. Seeing Jesus. It’s a challenging, treacherous path that is taking me somewhere beautiful.

So yes, I have struggles. I ask questions about the unknown that leaves me with an inward tension. I often feel like it’s a burden that I have to carry alone. And it takes work to keep walking.

But I’m discovering that these things, although not comprising an easy and effortless hike, are proving to be bridges rather than barriers that are taking me exactly where I need to go. The path is tough, but there is comfort in deeply knowing the path is being carved out by my loving Father. And that leaves me gracefully struggling through it with peace and joy that is priceless.

And who knows, maybe it will lead to something as incredible as a beautiful, massive waterfall in the middle of the jungle of an unchartered area on an island in Indonesia.”

Guest Blog: My Sister’s Truth

If you only read ONE of my blogs this year-PLEASE READ THIS ONE. My sister, Glenda, beautifully wrote about the hardest year of her life-and tells us what she’s learned. If you want to be encouraged by honest struggles and God’s grace-read on and know that “God is faithful. He is good, and He’s got you!”

If I Had a Blog….

Summer is coming to an end. Warm is becoming cool. Leaves are turning brilliant shades and falling to ground. The season of hoodies and all things pumpkin (can I get an amen?!?) is upon us. Beautiful! If you haven’t guessed yet fall is my favorite season! Along with the changing season I find it has become a season of reflection in my life; a time to look back and see where the seasons of the last year have taken me. And let me tell you, the last four seasons have brought on more raging storms, blizzards, and drought in my life than I thought could ever be possible! But these same four seasons have also brought calming winds, warm sun kissed skies and brilliant rainbows of promise,

The past year was hands down the hardest year of my life. I have cried (more than I thought humanly possible), yelled, cursed and then cried some more. I even felt like giving up and walking away from every thing I believed. I was so angry with God. I felt like He had abandoned me. I was going through this crap day after day; tear after tear with no end in sight. Where was God? Why wasn’t he fixing it? When was this stormy season going to be over?

Here is what I learned….

God hadn’t forsaken me! He heard every prayer, caught every tear and walked every step with me and even carried me when I was at my worst. No, He didn’t instantly fix things. But when I looked up through my tear filled eyes, He was there! He showed up in big ways! Not in the ways I wanted or thought I needed, but in ways that He knew I needed. See, I learned that God actually knows me better than I know myself and loves me far more than I could possibly comprehend!

Learning these truths did not make all storms stop. I still cry. I still get angry. But God is always there, showing up. Being God, loving on me! Maybe it comes in the form of a still small voice. Maybe it’s a sweet friend showing up at your doorstep with the perfect pair of brand new black boots just for you! Maybe it’s the kind lady in line a head of you, who sees you with two crying kids and she simply starts to unload your groceries. Maybe it’s talking and laughing with your sister. Maybe it’s snuggles from your kiddos. Maybe it’s coffee! Maybe it is all these things and more!

I am now in a season of waiting (boo!) I don’t know why God has me here. I am ready to move on! But clearly God has me here for a reason! And no matter what comes along in this season, I know that my God is faithful, that He is good and that He’s got me!

No matter what season your life is in, God has not forsaken you! He knows you! He loves you! And He knows what is needed at the exact moment it is needed. And He shows up!

Thank you, Glenda-for being an example of strength in my life. Thank you for being transparent in your wrestling with God and your pain. Thank you for always listening to and praying for my burdens and trials and heartaches-even when you had plenty of your own to worry about. Thank you for laughing with me and encouraging me so many days and nights when I know you were running on empty. Thank you for loving your children well and being an example in prayer and steadfastness to them. You were the big sister that God chose to be mine, and He did so perfectly. I love you, Glenda Elizabeth!

Dear Friends Going Through Trials of Various Kinds

Dear friends going through trials of various kinds–

“There are two kinds of ground: fallow ground and ground that has been broken up by the plow.

The fallow field is smug, contented, protected from the shock of the plow and the agitation of the harrow. Such a field, as it lies year after year, becomes a familiar landmark to the crow and the blue jay. Had it intelligence, it might take a lot of satisfaction in its reputation: it has stability; nature has adopted it; it can be counted upon to remain always the same, while the fields around it change from brown to green and back to brown again. Safe and undisturbed, it sprawls lazily in the sunshine, the picture of sleepy contentment.

But it is paying a terrible price for its tranquility; never does it feel the motions of mounting life, nor see the wonders of
bursting seed, nor the beauty of ripening grain. Fruit it can never know, because it is afraid of the plow and the harrow.

In direct opposite to this, the cultivated field has yielded itself to the adventure of living. The protecting fence has opened to admit the plow, and the plow has come as plows always come, practical, cruel, business-like and in a hurry. Peace has been shattered by the shouting farmer and the rattle of machinery. The field has felt the travail of change; it has been upset, turned over, bruised and broken.

But its rewards come hard upon its labors. The seed shoots up into the daylight its miracle of life, curious, exploring the new world above it. All over the field, the hand of God is at work in the age-old and ever renewed service of creation. New things are born, to grow, mature, and consumate the grand prophecy latent in the seed when it entered the ground. Nature’s wonders follow the plow.”

May you soon see the beauty of your ripening grain in the midst of the pain of the plow.

With Love,

Betty

Miracles Follow the Plow; Dr. A.W. Tozer-http://www.theprayerlife.com/tozerfallow.html

When Every Day is a Battle

By my boss, I was recently given one of the top things on my wish list, the puritan prayer book, “The Valley of Vision”. I was so encouraged by the introduction of the book, I thought I’d share it with you. This is especially for my brothers and sisters who are in a difficult situation right now, who feel like they are at their lowest low, and know each morning when they wake up that the day is going to be a constant battle. To you, I grieve that you are in these lowlands, but pray that while you are in the valley, God gives you clearer eyes to see Him.

The Valley of Vision

“Lord, High and Holy, Meek and Lowly,

Thou has brought me to the valley of vision,

Where I live in the depths but see thee in the heights; hemmed in by mountains of sin I behold thy glory.

Let me learn by paradox

That the way down is the way up,

That to be low is to be high,

That the broken heart is the healed heart,

That the contrite spirit is the rejoicing spirit,

That the repenting soul is the victorious soul,

That to have nothing is to possess all,

That to bear the cross is to wear the crown,

That to give is to receive,

That the valley is the place of vision.

Lord, in the daytime stars can be seen from deepest wells, and the deeper the wells the brighter thy stars shine;

Let me find they light in my darkness,

Thy life in my death,

Thy joy in my sorrow,

Thy grace in my sin,

Thy riches in my poverty

Thy glory in my valley.”

Don’t give up. God is close to the brokenhearted (Ps. 34:18), He see each of your tears (Ps. 56:8),He will never leave you (Heb. 13:5), and He will sustain you (Phil 4:19) through this, and every difficult day.

Feeling Lost?

 

Imagine you are hiking through the woods trying to get to the nearest town. But you are lost and confused and you feel like you are walking in circles. It’s been weeks, and you are just as deep in the woods today as you were when you thought of your first brilliant game plan to get out of there asap!

Fortunately for you, you meet a guide in the woods. He explains that if you take this trail, it’ll lead you to a crossroads in a clearing where there will be a sign explaining which direction to go next to get to town. He hands you a backpack full of things you need to survive and thrive during this journey. A compass, a canteen with fresh water, a flashlight, bug spray, matches, and even a walkie talkie! He assures you that he knows these woods well, and he’ll always have his walkie talkie on him if you ever have any questions. You are overjoyed at his help!  You are feeling awesome about this journey and confident that you will get to the next clearing soon. Off you go.

The first few days you do pretty well. The trail is as clear as the sky and you barely break a sweat. You gleefully use your compass, and even walkie talkie your guide to see if the berries you’ve stumbled across are safe to eat (you’ve seen Hunger Games-you aren’t taking any chances). A short time passes and you stop using the contents in your backpack-you think you know the drill pretty well by now! But shortly after, the way starts to get more difficult. You are constantly swarmed by six legged pests, trapped in prickly thickets, covered in mud and blood, and oh so weary. Day after day you continue on, wondering if you are lost, confused why the way is so treacherous, and losing hope that you’ll ever get to that clearing. The nearest town feels farther away now than it ever has.

And then, one moment while lapping up muddy stream water for a drink, scratching a bug bite the size of a melon on your leg, and trying to find the best rock flint to start a fire with later tonight, you remember the backpack you’ve been given. You feel like an idiot. You have all these resources to help the journey, and you have been ignoring them! The trail would still have been difficult, but if you would have used what was given to you, much pain, discomfort, and discouragement could have been avoided.

I feel like I am on a pretty difficult journey right now. I look forward with hopeful expectation to one day getting out of the woods, but for now I am just looking for the next clearing-a crossroads that will show me the next step. I have a Guide who is brilliant, and loving, and perfect, and always accessible. He has given me tools while journeying to best survive-His Word-a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path, the precious gift of communication with God through prayer, the joy and comfort of worshipping  the giver of the stream of living water that will never run dry, godly counsel– who through knowing and loving the Guide well for years can impart wisdom and comfort that will help protect me from all kinds of harm, and so much more.

Yet I far too often journey with a backpack full of items not being used. I keep the fresh canteen in my bag and drink the dirty water the world offers.

As believers we must use the tools the Lord has given us. They are for our own good, and yet we ignore them? The ramifications of doing so are personal and foolish yes, but also what does it say to our fellow travelers who don’t have a “backpack”? It says that they are pointless and they are worthless, and no wonder they don’t ask where it came from-they don’t see us value what’s inside!

So friend, passionately use the tools God has given you to get through this life. It may still be very difficult, but He has graciously given us exactly what we need to navigate every step, every day. And maybe, as you obediently depend on the graces that God has given you, He will bring other travelers in your life who need the see the blessings that knowing the Guide brings-what a joy that is!