If you only read ONE of my blogs this year-PLEASE READ THIS ONE. My sister, Glenda, beautifully wrote about the hardest year of her life-and tells us what she’s learned. If you want to be encouraged by honest struggles and God’s grace-read on and know that “God is faithful. He is good, and He’s got you!”
If I Had a Blog….
Summer is coming to an end. Warm is becoming cool. Leaves are turning brilliant shades and falling to ground. The season of hoodies and all things pumpkin (can I get an amen?!?) is upon us. Beautiful! If you haven’t guessed yet fall is my favorite season! Along with the changing season I find it has become a season of reflection in my life; a time to look back and see where the seasons of the last year have taken me. And let me tell you, the last four seasons have brought on more raging storms, blizzards, and drought in my life than I thought could ever be possible! But these same four seasons have also brought calming winds, warm sun kissed skies and brilliant rainbows of promise,
The past year was hands down the hardest year of my life. I have cried (more than I thought humanly possible), yelled, cursed and then cried some more. I even felt like giving up and walking away from every thing I believed. I was so angry with God. I felt like He had abandoned me. I was going through this crap day after day; tear after tear with no end in sight. Where was God? Why wasn’t he fixing it? When was this stormy season going to be over?
Here is what I learned….
God hadn’t forsaken me! He heard every prayer, caught every tear and walked every step with me and even carried me when I was at my worst. No, He didn’t instantly fix things. But when I looked up through my tear filled eyes, He was there! He showed up in big ways! Not in the ways I wanted or thought I needed, but in ways that He knew I needed. See, I learned that God actually knows me better than I know myself and loves me far more than I could possibly comprehend!
Learning these truths did not make all storms stop. I still cry. I still get angry. But God is always there, showing up. Being God, loving on me! Maybe it comes in the form of a still small voice. Maybe it’s a sweet friend showing up at your doorstep with the perfect pair of brand new black boots just for you! Maybe it’s the kind lady in line a head of you, who sees you with two crying kids and she simply starts to unload your groceries. Maybe it’s talking and laughing with your sister. Maybe it’s snuggles from your kiddos. Maybe it’s coffee! Maybe it is all these things and more!
I am now in a season of waiting (boo!) I don’t know why God has me here. I am ready to move on! But clearly God has me here for a reason! And no matter what comes along in this season, I know that my God is faithful, that He is good and that He’s got me!
No matter what season your life is in, God has not forsaken you! He knows you! He loves you! And He knows what is needed at the exact moment it is needed. And He shows up!
Thank you, Glenda-for being an example of strength in my life. Thank you for being transparent in your wrestling with God and your pain. Thank you for always listening to and praying for my burdens and trials and heartaches-even when you had plenty of your own to worry about. Thank you for laughing with me and encouraging me so many days and nights when I know you were running on empty. Thank you for loving your children well and being an example in prayer and steadfastness to them. You were the big sister that God chose to be mine, and He did so perfectly. I love you, Glenda Elizabeth!