A Peek Into My Dating Life

I have had the joy of dating an awesome stud for the last 4 months or so. As I have wrote about before, I think dating can be difficult. I’ve learned a lot from mistakes in the past, and though not perfect, this dating relationship has been so peace-saturated and God honoring.

What is making it that way? 

Well I’m glad you asked, because I’ve thought of 3 primary reasons why dating has been such a blessing. 

1. We want God’s will more than we want each other.
   • I’m a stubborn women. I think I know what is best for me. But I’ve learned the hard way that many times, I don’t actually have a clue. I’ve learned to pray with a sincere heart, “Thy will be done”. My boyfriend and I realize that God is sovereign and has a plan for both of our lives. He has a spouse for each of us who will best sanctify and love us, and if that is one another -praise the Lord! But if that is someone else-then that is what we want for each other. Because we know our Father knows BEST, and we can trust Him with our future.
2. We concentrate on the 3 H’s.
   • In my phone, my boyfriend’s middle name is  “HHH”. Those three h’s in the middle stand for Happiness, Holiness, and Humor. Those are the three things we decided we wanted our dating relationship to be all about. Those are the three things we want to infuse into each other’s lives. If God keeps us together-what a great foundation for the future! And if God moves us apart-what great things to have added into our lives even for just a season!
3. We’re serious about purity.
   • Mark my words, one day, I will write a book about this. But for now, I’ll just say that this victory has been one of sweetest blessings of my life. For those of you, like me, who have fought and lost battles with purity in the past, the joy that comes in honoring God in this way far outweighs any joys that came from the worldly pleasures of not honoring Him. And it definitely changes a relationship!

Dating this guy blesses me in other ways too. From feeling like (somehow!) I am the most beautiful girl on the planet, to being able to trust his character, leadership, and wisdom in taking things slow-to morning deliveries of bacon and roses-I’m super thankful to be his girlfriend-for however long God sees fit. And since God’s word tells me that “every good and perfect gift comes from our Father above”(James 1:17)- I know that my response to this needs to be praise and worship! God is the giver of this good gift-and it causes me to gush over, not my boyfriend but, the Good Giver.

But I can’t write this without also saying that all of this is not always easy. It doesn’t come NATURALLY. Numbers 1,2, and 3 go against my human nature in so many ways! There are days I’m frustrated, and days I struggle to remember that God’s will is best. There are days I want to concentrate only on my happiness-and not his happiness and certainly not either of our holinesses. There are moments I don’t want to be serious about purity and moments I complain to God about gifts I think I deserve that I don’t have instead of thanking Him for the ones I do have. That’s why being in prayer and in the Word is so important. I can’t date well on my own! I need to be dependent on God!

So although it’s not always easy-dating is a blessing. Whether we’re together for 6 more months, or 60 more years-it doesn’t matter. God knows best and He is trustworthy! Our Father will lead in His perfect way in His perfect timing. Man, being a Christian is the best! We know that ALL things work together for our good (Rom. 8:28). So we depend on God and date in peace, joy, and confidence-knowing that everything is (and will be) exactly as it should be! 

 

A Single Believer’s Guide to Attending Weddings

I love weddings.

The beauty.

The joy.

The tears.

The message.

The speeches.

The creativity

The eating.

The dancing.

 

But for some of us who are not on the precipice of marital bliss, weddings can be…well…painful.

 

For the single mom who regrets her wedding day.

For the guy whose girl just left him.

For the girl who guys never fall for.

For the recently widowed.

For the girl who “wasn’t enough” to marry.

For the guy who was too late in asking her.

 

What do these people do as wedding invite after invite flood their mailbox? How do they prepare themselves for walking into yet another celebration feeling alone? How do they look forward to:

 

Sitting alone at the ceremony

Sitting out during the “couple dances”.

Sitting with all couples or families.

Or perhaps worst-sitting at the “single” table?

If you are a believer, I have 3 encouraging verses to share with you to help you honor God and enjoy the weddings you attend. These have wonderfully changed how I attend weddings and I can honestly say they are a JOY. Though during the wedding/reception the sting of singleness may still arise, its pain doesn’t linger, and I am truly able to rejoice in the day! I hope these help you to attend weddings with gospel rooted happiness, clarity of mind, and focus on others!

• Pray for selflessness
  1. Romans 12: 15 says to “Rejoice with those who rejoice”. So, as you are tempted to think about your loneliness, your heartache, your etc. etc. etc., remind yourself that this. Is. Not. About. You! Yes, it may hurt, but take your eyes off your own pain and pray for eyes to see and rejoice in the excitement and joy of others. Pray for the ability to put your mourning on a shelf, and for the night, focus solely on praising the Lord for how he provided for this couple. How he blessed this couple. How he led this couple. Because it’s okay that he chose not to do that to you. His timing and his way is perfect, and he is to be praised in the land of plenty, and the land of drought.
• Look for others to bless
  1. God is a God of comfort, and he desires and commands us to comfort other (2 Corinthians 1). Chances are that in this situation (as well as most situations) if you are slightly uncomfortable, there are others there feeling that exact same way as well. Try and find a person who looks like they need love, and make it your job to encourage them and help them have a joyful experience! By taking your eyes off yourself, and onto someone else in need-both you AND the other person will be blessed.
• Let their love point you to a bigger Love
  1. In my opinion, the MOST IMPORTANT point to focus on during weddings is this one. Ephesians 5:25-33 talks all about how a husband and a wife are simply a PICTURE of Christ and the church. So during the wedding think deeply on what their love tells you about God’s love for his people. Think about your “conversion moment” when you hear about when the couple first fell in love. Think about your “salvation prayer” or when you dedicated your life to Christ as they exchange their vows. As you drive to the reception, reflect on the journey of life God has given you. When you reach the reception, know that when you arrive in Glory, there will be a celebration for the Groom and his Bride that will go above and beyond anything this life has to offer. And as you feast, and dance, and laugh, know that love IS worth celebrating and in Christ you have the most glorious, perfect love ever offered.

So before you apply your waterproof mascara or put that church’s address in your GPS, pray. Pray for someone to bless. Pray for a heart of gratitude and joy. Pray for eyes to see the parallels between husband and wife with Christ and the Church. Pray that your affections for God are strengthened and increased. Pray that you can impact others at the wedding with the love of Christ. And know that when you pray, the peace of God will guard your heart and your mind (Phil. 4:7)-and I guarantee your wedding experience will be better because of it! 🙂

Also, quick shout out to the 2015 weddings I went to that were FULL of worship and joy: Amber & Christopher Gomes, Amy & Blair Fisher- I love the four of you DEEPLY and am SO thankful for your love, example, and friendships! ❤

P.S. Below are some of my favorite quotes about marriage! Enjoy!

And this one..hee hee hee…

Life’s [Not] Going According to [My] Plan

I turned 26 this year, and I thought, for sure, I’d have life more figured out by now.

I’d be settling into the long term career I excel at and find fulfillment in. I’d be in a healthy, happy, adventuresome relationship with a man who treasures me deeply and is passionate about the covenant of marriage. I’d know when kiddos would be coming along, and I’d be wisely using my gifts and talents. I’d not do annoying things like write out a check to pay a toll both fine, put a stamp on the envelope, and then accidentally leave it in my purse for 2 weeks.  No way, Jose.

But instead, I am both enjoying and loathing the blessed burden of singleness. I am in a job I love, but have little to no direction for the future. I am not sure what to do with some of the things God has entrusted to me, and yes, the crumpled (now late) bill was mailed out just yesterday.

Life is not going the way I thought it would go post-college. I have more heartaches than I was planning on, less direction than I was hoping for, and more mistakes than I was anticipating.

But that’s okay.

No really. It hurts sometimes, but I know it’s good. I know that where I am TODAY-the situation, circumstances, and unknowns are all good. Romans 8:28 tells us that, for those who love God (hey-that’s me! I LOVE God!) all things (wait, like ALL? Everything? All means ALL?) work together for good (this good means ultimate good, eternal good (the very best kind of good!)) for those who are called according to his purpose (that’s me! He’s called me!).

So, as much as my ideal plans have not and are not currently panning themselves out-I can trust that God’s plan is panning itself out (Prov. 19:21; Eph. 1:11). And frankly, that plan has got to be better than any plan I could have conjured up! God is brilliant, loving, intentional, and perfect. He is a good father (Luke 11:11-12) Whatever He is allowing, not allowing, doing and not doing, though I don’t understand why, I know is good and best and perfect (Ps. 119:68).

So yes, life’s not going according to my plan. But it is going according to The Plan-and whatever God is doing is trustworthy, best, for my eternal good, and worthy of joy & praise (1 Thess. 5:16-19). So whatever heartbreak you are experiencing today, because your plans haven’t worked out, be reminded that God IS good, He IS working, and His plan is the perfect plan.

Talk Yourself Out of Lies

I was recently praying to the Lord about my future-my desires, my heartaches, my deeps hope that only He and I know about. After expressing them to Him, I ended with “not my will, but yours be done” and I started to cry. I cried because I was scared that God’s will looks very different than what I hoped for my life. I cried because I feared God’s will would be difficult and painful and possibly opposite of me getting what I want so badly.

And then I stopped myself, and asked God to search my heart.

I was quietly speaking and believing lies to myself. My tears said: “My desire is for my comfort and happiness. If God is good and loves me deeply, then He should go after that for me because I know what’s best for me. But I fear that God is not good and his love for me not deep enough to care about my heartache or my pains. He might, in fact, PURPOSEFULLY make it difficult or opposite if what I want”.  That’s what my heart believed in that moment!

Thankfully, the Holy Spirit who resides in me fought those lies with truth from Scripture. I then thought:

“…YOU God, are the ultimate joy, prize, and satisfaction (Ps. 16:11). Getting ____________ is NOT what will “make or break” my life-KNOWING AND LOVING YOU will. If I seek you-I WILL find you (Matt. 7:7), and in finding you, getting to know how amazing you are will be ABOVE and beyond all I could imagine (Eph. 3:20). And you’ve already promised me you’ll be here-you’ll never leave me (Heb. 13:5). You’ll not stop loving me, and everything you do is good and right (Rom. 8:28-19). Your will is PERFECT! (Ps. 18:30) You’ll fulfill and satisfy me, direct me, and give me EVERYTHING I need (Phil. 4:19)”.

This is the Word of the Lord; thanks be to God.

One of my burdens right now in life is singleness. Maybe yours is a wayward child, or a jobless future, or an unloving spouse. As you run to God with your desires for the future, remember to combat any lies that sneak into your heart. Any doubts that creeps in that tells you God isn’t good, or isn’t working-need to be immediately fought with truth from Scripture and a reminder of the eternity to come. I ended my prayer like this:

“Oh dear Father. Please help me not to get tangled up in lies and distracted by thoughts about a possible (but not guaranteed) future marriage. Because I AM guaranteed a wedding and a groom-a PERFECT one-Christ in glory. I have salvation! Forgiveness of sins! I am your daughter! Knowing, believing, and clinging to THAT truth will propel me through all seasons of doubt, loneliness, rejection, or whatever else. Because even if you see fit to allow me to endure suffering through singleness for the rest of my life-I’ll choose to believe that you always give what is best for me. YOU ARE ENOUGH. YOU ARE WORTH IT. YOU WILL SATISFY.”

“There are no disappointments to those who wills are buried in the will of God.” Frederick William Faber

A Break-Up Song of Sorts

 

A thousand lessons learned,

absolutely forever changed.

Grace of God please work

through all the joys and all the pain. 

Let us trust that you are good,

You are working, you can heal.

Keep us far from bitterness, 

and at your throne please let us kneel. 

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You are always worthy of our praise.

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You are holy-our lives are but a breath.

You love us deeply-and saved our souls from death.

You graciously give the peace of knowing Truth.

Please keep us loving, trusting, seeking only you.

Please keep us satisfied with you.

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You weep with those who weep,

And you morn with those who morn.

You knew this trial we’d face

Before we were, or time was born.

You have purposed all our days

For your glory and your name.

As your children we have hope

And are free from guilt or shame.

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You are always worthy of our praise.

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You are holy-our lives are but a breath.

You love us deeply-and saved our souls from death.

You graciously give the peace of knowing Truth.

Please keep us loving, trusting, seeking only you.

Please keep us satisfied with you.

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Work out your good in us

Though I don’t understand

In your grace, reveal to us,

Your perfect purpose and your plans.

But even if you don’t

And I never see the why.

I’ll cling to your character-

Your love can’t be denied.

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You are always worthy of our praise.

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You are holy-our lives are but a breath.

You love us deeply-and saved our souls from death.

You graciously give the peace of knowing Truth.

Please keep us close-abiding, seeking

Keep us joy-desiring, seeking

Keep us spirit-guiding, seeking you.  

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