5 Reasons I Love My Husband Playing Video Games

I think that guys playing video games gets a bad wrap. Though it can be bad-it doesn’t have to be! Here are my thoughts on the subject!

5 Reasons I Love My Husband Playing Video Games

1.)  He gets to hang out with his long distance friends– My husband and I are currently living in Portales, NM, and almost all of our closest friends are living in Western PA. That means that we get to find creative ways to stay connected despite the hundreds of miles in between us. For me, that’s facetiming coffee dates with my friends- and for Nathaniel, it’s chatting & killing zombies via PS4 & a headset with his friends. I love that! Just like I ask and make sure a particular evening is free/good for us if I facetime Amy, so he will also check and make sure it’s good for him to spend some time with Tim on a particular night to play video games.  It’s not about permission, it’s just respecting each other’s time. And on those nights, I love that while I’m making dinner, I can hear my husband laughing with one of his groomsmen, asking about his life and marriage, all while killing zombies.

2.) I find joy in his joy!– Just like I do, my husband stays busy and has lots of hobbies. Japanese woodworking, reading Tolkein, riding motorcycle, etc. I’m happy that he enjoys things, and I think it’s important that we both have our primary joy in Christ, our secondary joy in each other, and plenty of other joys in life separately! We are one, and yet still individual people, and we need to live in that juxtaposition even in our hobbies!

3.) I value how differently we’re wired– It’s not my jam–but I love that he relaxes and enjoys playing different characters and saving the entire world/civilization! I love that he loves strategy, and bravery, and heroism, and sci-fi– and all that is manifested in his hobby of gaming.

4.) He invites me into his hobby- I never feel like gaming is “his time” or “his thing”. I get to snuggle up next to him, and do things I enjoy with him by my side. He also is convinced that I will enjoy playing Mass Effect, so we have created a character and I’m going to give it a go sometime soon 🙂

5.) He invests appropriate time into it-  He doesn’t play often-so it’s easy for me to not be bothered by it. But I can totally understand a person’s frustration if their s/o a.) plays a game that Christ would hate to watch, OR b.) if-by playing it- they’re ignoring their God given responsibilities (of loving their wife/family, providing for their home, being spiritual disciplined, investing in the local church, etc.). BUT Nathaniel does neither of those things. For example, this morning, Nathaniel made us breakfast, we read a chapter in a book on marriage together, did some yard work, took our dog on a walk, then ran some separate errands. So when he played a game while I baked and spent some time on my computer- there was ZERO room for frustration about time.

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Our Proposal Story

Nathaniel and I had been dating a while, and it had been going really well.

I mean REALLY, REALLY well.

We could hardly believe it–but prayers that we both had been praying for years, journal entries with specific requests penned on both sides-we were seeing answered day after day. We had been told “when you know, you just know” before in life, and until meeting each other-we never know what that meant. Now-we totally get it <3.

He lived in New Mexico, but was in Destin, FL for a few weeks for a work certification, and so I planned a trip to visit him down there. I was *pretty sure* that IF he were to propose before Christmas time, he would probably do it around the end of October. We would be celebrating the 500 year anniversary of the Protestant Reformation together–and what a magical time that would be! 😉

However on September 14th, as I drove to the airport, I found myself thinking about the possibility of him proposing to me. I got butterflies at the thought of it, but didn’t want to be distracted by the thoughts when a nice vacation with the love of my life was all I was guaranteed. So I did what any girl in my shoes would do–I snooped.

I called my sister and asked her if she had heard anything about Nathaniel connecting with Dad. She assured me that she JUST talked to dad earlier this week, and he hadn’t mentioned anything about a conversation with my boyfriend. She also let me know that Nathaniel never mentioned anything to her. I called my dad too, and he had no idea that I was even headed to Florida to be with my beloved.  After turning off bluetooth, and turning into economy parking at the Philadelphia Airport, my heart was settled with the reality that Nathaniel definitely wasn’t proposing during this time together. All I had before me the next few days was sunshine and sand-with the man that I love. I knew I would be marrying him sometime in the not so distant future, and I knew he wasn’t going to propose during this vacation.

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I arrived in Florida and our time together was wonderful. He picked me up in his flight suit 😍😍😍 and took me shopping for beach essentials. We went out to dinner at one of his favorite spots where I had the best pork chops OF MY LIFE, I gave him a gift I had been working on for months, we met up with some of his friends for drinks, and my heart was so happy and content to be his girlfriend. The next day, we ran (okay, he ran and I mostly ran and walked a little) a 3 mile trail, had breakfast out, hit the clear waters and white sand of the local beach, and then he told me that we were taking a little trip to a local town called Seaside.

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Seaside was an absolutely adorable little tourist town where The Truman Show had been filmed. We walked all around the charming community and chatted about life and love. We talked about family and community, our hopes and dreams for the future, and our mutual desire for marriage and each other. We laughed at the names of the homes down the residential  streets and enjoyed being hand-in-hand on the warm September afternoon. While wandering, Nathaniel pulled me aside to a sort of private cul de sac of trees and shrubbery– he stopped walking.

Wait. What?!

He stopped, laughed at the confusion on my face, and took a step back into a kneel.

“Betty Catherine-Michelle Pompell, will you marry me?”

His voice was as steady as the warm look in his eyes.

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I could barely believe it. I said “absolutely!” and wrapped my arms around him as he stood up from his position of holding out a breathtakingly gorgeous engagement ring. My heart raced as I squeezed him and over and over again, with varying inflections, I just said “Oh my word. Oh my word. OH. My. WORD. OH MY WORD!” He shushed me, laughed at me, kissed me, got the ring on my finger (which brought a whole slew of more “oh my words”) and escorted me back to the main street of the town.

My feet didn’t touch the ground, as I goofily smiled at passerby’s and continued with my steadfast breathless chorus of “oh my word”. He told me that we had a few minutes to make some phone calls, and that our dinner reservations were at 6:30. Calls to my dad and sister proved the sneakiness of both their responses and their knowledge of the life-changing event.

The remainder of our time in Florida was filled with many more sweet memories, and the first few lessons and joys of planning a wedding and a life together. I am so thankful for the gift of being with Nathaniel. Dating him was an ABSOLUTE joy, being his fiance is an ABSOLUTE delight, and I daily look forward to being his bride and his wife ❤ Praise God from whom all blessings flow!

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My Parent’s 40th Year Anniversary

Forty years ago today, my parents- Robert and Karen Pompell- promised themselves to each other, for better or for worse, in richness and in want, in sickness and in health-till death do they part. I have seen them faithfully love each other in each of those circumstances, and have been deeply blessed by both the delightful and the difficult aspects of their marriage. I asked them this weekend what sort of lessons they have learned over the 40 years, and here’s what they had to say:

  • Mom said she learned…
    • He cannot read my mind, he cannot read my emotions, and so if I want him to know what’s on my mind or how I feel–I have to tell him!

    • He doesn’t do stuff to particularly make me mad–that’s just my perception, and I had to learn to let it go and believe the best about it

    • Just because we see the same thing, doesn’t mean we see the same thing

    • I’ve learned to love him more, to be a friend, to be a confidant, and to enjoy his company.

    • I’ve learned to support him in all his endeavors

    • I’ve learned that it is never good to say negative things about the man you’re married to in front of your children, or in front of friends.

    • I’ve learned I DO need a confidant, but you have to pick that confidant very carefully

    • I have learned what true human unconditional love is. ❤

    • I’ve learned to replace negative thoughts playing in my mind with positive thoughts and to let God’s spirit shine through me in our marriage

  • Dad said he learned…
    • As you grow older together, there are different stages you go through in life, and you adjust to meet each others needs and changes

    • If you love unconditionally, she just gets more beautiful every day

    • When I feel my worst, she gives me her best. She is a great encourager to me and is supportive.

    • Over the years, we learned how to become better communicators

    • We had to keep God at the center of our marriage. When we depend on him-in prayer and in Scripture-he takes us through the storms and helps us stay focused in our love.

    • There may be times you don’t like each other-but you still have to love each other

    • With love, comes true forgiveness. When you have your disagreements- you don’t say “Remember when” , that’s not forgiveness. Forgiveness is the way Christ forgives us-it’s gone! It’s forgotten!

    • Don’t dwell on the past, focus on the present, work on the future together.

    • Holding her hand or rubbing her feet is a love language I have learned over the years. It means just as much as me looking at her and saying “I love you”>

    • There is nothing she loves more than getting her feet loved-so she gets her feet rubbed everyday

    • We are going to mess up and get mad at one another, but it’s the forgiveness. And keep working at pleasing one another

    • Prayer together, keeping Christ at the center is when our marriage is the strongest

    • You need friends you can confide in, to talk to, to pray with you, to encourage you, when things are not going so well. Don’t share it with everyone, but find believers you can trust and pray for me. I have seen so many miracles in our marriage!

    • My wife is the ultimate gift I. I have been so blessed. I could not ask for more beautiful, loving wife. Not always been easy, it has been difficult, very difficult at times, but my love never wavered and I just thank God every day for every day that we have together. I think no matter what comes our way, all I can say is “thank you”.

Thanks for your wisdom, love, honestly, and example Mom and Dad! Happy 40th wedding anniversary! I thank God for you and pray He gives you many, many more!

Love,

Betty

A Single Believer’s Guide to Attending Weddings

I love weddings.

The beauty.

The joy.

The tears.

The message.

The speeches.

The creativity

The eating.

The dancing.

 

But for some of us who are not on the precipice of marital bliss, weddings can be…well…painful.

 

For the single mom who regrets her wedding day.

For the guy whose girl just left him.

For the girl who guys never fall for.

For the recently widowed.

For the girl who “wasn’t enough” to marry.

For the guy who was too late in asking her.

 

What do these people do as wedding invite after invite flood their mailbox? How do they prepare themselves for walking into yet another celebration feeling alone? How do they look forward to:

 

Sitting alone at the ceremony

Sitting out during the “couple dances”.

Sitting with all couples or families.

Or perhaps worst-sitting at the “single” table?

If you are a believer, I have 3 encouraging verses to share with you to help you honor God and enjoy the weddings you attend. These have wonderfully changed how I attend weddings and I can honestly say they are a JOY. Though during the wedding/reception the sting of singleness may still arise, its pain doesn’t linger, and I am truly able to rejoice in the day! I hope these help you to attend weddings with gospel rooted happiness, clarity of mind, and focus on others!

  • Pray for selflessness
    1. Romans 12: 15 says to “Rejoice with those who rejoice”. So, as you are tempted to think about your loneliness, your heartache, your etc. etc. etc., remind yourself that this. Is. Not. About. You! Yes, it may hurt, but take your eyes off your own pain and pray for eyes to see and rejoice in the excitement and joy of others. Pray for the ability to put your mourning on a shelf, and for the night, focus solely on praising the Lord for how he provided for this couple. How he blessed this couple. How he led this couple. Because it’s okay that he chose not to do that to you. His timing and his way is perfect, and he is to be praised in the land of plenty, and the land of drought.
  • Look for others to bless
    1. God is a God of comfort, and he desires and commands us to comfort other (2 Corinthians 1). Chances are that in this situation (as well as most situations) if you are slightly uncomfortable, there are others there feeling that exact same way as well. Try and find a person who looks like they need love, and make it your job to encourage them and help them have a joyful experience! By taking your eyes off yourself, and onto someone else in need-both you AND the other person will be blessed.
  • Let their love point you to a bigger Love
    1. In my opinion, the MOST IMPORTANT point to focus on during weddings is this one. Ephesians 5:25-33 talks all about how a husband and a wife are simply a PICTURE of Christ and the church. So during the wedding think deeply on what their love tells you about God’s love for his people. Think about your “conversion moment” when you hear about when the couple first fell in love. Think about your “salvation prayer” or when you dedicated your life to Christ as they exchange their vows. As you drive to the reception, reflect on the journey of life God has given you. When you reach the reception, know that when you arrive in Glory, there will be a celebration for the Groom and his Bride that will go above and beyond anything this life has to offer. And as you feast, and dance, and laugh, know that love IS worth celebrating and in Christ you have the most glorious, perfect love ever offered.

So before you apply your waterproof mascara or put that church’s address in your GPS, pray. Pray for someone to bless. Pray for a heart of gratitude and joy. Pray for eyes to see the parallels between husband and wife with Christ and the Church. Pray that your affections for God are strengthened and increased. Pray that you can impact others at the wedding with the love of Christ. And know that when you pray, the peace of God will guard your heart and your mind (Phil. 4:7)-and I guarantee your wedding experience will be better because of it! 🙂

Also, quick shout out to the 2015 weddings I went to that were FULL of worship and joy: Amber & Christopher Gomes, Amy & Blair Fisher- I love the four of you DEEPLY and am SO thankful for your love, example, and friendships! ❤

P.S. Below are some of my favorite quotes about marriage! Enjoy!

"Marriage is two flawed people coming together to create a space of stability, love & consolation, a haven in a heartless world." Tim Keller:

"The love language of all marriages is self-denial." (Burk Parsons):

John Piper on marriage:

John Piper, Momentary Marriage:

I have this marriage, so blessed.:

Marriage:

Marriage:

And this one..hee hee hee…

A Question for my Married Friends

So this is something I’ve been thinking about for a while.

The Old Testament is full of the relationship between God and his chosen people being compared to a husband and wife. And then Jesus, in the New Testament of course, says that awesome bit in Ephesians 5 about husbands loving their wives as Christ loves the church. So I infer that the opposite is also true. Wives then are to love their husbands like the church love Christ, right?

So I’ve been asking myself, what does that really look like?

This is what I’ve come up with. God/Christ/Husband Figure is supposed to be the pursuer, the delighter, the sustainer, and the provider. That is what God does with his people. He chooses us, he lavishes love and (TOTALLY UNDESERVED) grace upon us. He is the one that keeps the relationship together. Though we are prone to wander (Lord, I feel it!), it is HE who fights for our unity. He gives his children all that they need and satisfies them.

The proper response of the church-is to be crazy about Jesus, right? We are to be all about praising Him, and lifting Him up,and helping others see Him as glorious and awesome as He truly is. We should LOVE being with Him more than ANY other thing, and we should respond to his love with delight and thanksgiving. We should be ALL ABOUT serving Him, and ALL ABOUT pleasing Him because we are so grateful for the way that He loves us.

Right?

And our marriages are supposed to reflect that, right? OBVIOUSLY, no couple will ever be perfect. And OBVIOUSLY we should NOT worship our husband, and we DON’T save our wives. But in a smaller, defaced humanistic sort of way, isn’t that what it should look like to the outside world and feel like to us?

I need to know what my married brothers and sisters think, because I know I dream big and am a die hard optimist. Am I seeing this correctly?

One day I hope to be married, and I so badly want people to watch the interactions my husband and I have, and say “that’s awesome”. So that my response will be: It’s awesome because it’s a reflection of God and us. And then they’ll be all like “whaaa” and I’ll tell them the gospel, and how awesome God’s love is, and how easy it is for me to serve Him with my life because of his love. Then I want to look to my awesome husband, and point out that though he is faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar from perfect (am I equally, if not farther from it), he loves me awesomely, which makes it’s easier to selflessly serve him.

Where am I wrong in this analysis? Where am I right? Help a sister out!

Mounted Scripture Art 16x20  Ephesians by ToSuchAsTheseDesigns, $45.00