I feel like I hear the question “What’s wrong with me? Why am I single?” on the lips of my dear female friends a lot. Whether they are 20 or 30 or somewhere in between, they seem to have somehow been convinced of the idea that their singleness is a result of something they are or are not.
They aren’t outgoing enough.
They aren’t thin enough.
They aren’t young enough.
They aren’t pretty enough.
They aren’t smart enough.
They just aren’t enough.
Let me tell you the real reason why you are single right now. It’s not because you are awkward, or overweight, or too homey or too make-upped, or too loud, or too quiet, or too anything. Because, let’s be honest, think about it, there are LOTS of happy, holy people who are married that are *seemingly* alllll those things.
It’s simple really. The only reason you are single right now is because God wills that to be.
And if God wills it to be-it is the BEST thing for you.
Now don’t get me wrong, you can ABSOLUTELY be playing a part in that process. If your desire is to be married, there are things you can be doing to aid you in getting there. You (and others) can be (and should be!) praying. You can respond to godly pursuit. You can find ways to mingle with godly, mature men. You can read books on godly masculinity, femininity, and relationships. And all the while you should be working towards sanctification. Not for/because of a one day relationship-but because of a deep desire to please and look like the Lord.
But ultimately, it is up to the Lord. He is sovereign over all things.
[God] works all things according to the counsel of his will.
Our God is in the heavens;
he does all that he pleases.
I know that you can do all things,
and that no purpose of yours can be thwarted.
He can easily bring someone into your life. He can easily incline someone’s heart to you.(Proverbs 21:1!) He could have easily had you married years ago! But that was not His will for your life.
A man’s steps are from the LORD;
how then can man understand his way?
Many are the plans in the mind of a man,
but it is the purpose of the LORD that will stand.
Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit”—yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. . . . Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.”
God chose to allow a season (or lifetime) or singleness, and that is okay. He has a reason for it. And that reason is that through this season He is going to be able to work in you in remarkable ways for His name’s sake. He is not punishing you. God only allows and permits things in your life to make you look more like Christ. There may come a time, my dear, dear, sisters, where that refining process of sanctification will take place in the covenant of marriage, but until then, don’t be anxious! Concentrate on knowing who God is, and being what God calls you to be, instead of concentrating who “he” (future-Mr.-godly-pants-spouse-husband-man) might be and wondering what he would want you to be.
“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good,for those who are called according to his purpose. For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified.” Romans 8:28-30
Your Savior is your first love, your ultimate love, your only perfect love, and your only everlasting love. If it is in God’s sovereign plan for you to have a spousely love, it will happen! Not too early. Not too late. All in his perfecting time and because of His sovereign will.