Why I Cried Last Week

I both love and hate crying.

I love crying when it shows a person how deeply I care about them.

I hate crying when it’s just a movie/t.v show/commercial/clip of that one part in Lion King–and I JUST put on mascara.

But last week, my own tears surprised me, and I want to tell you why.

I had a run in with a young woman, about my age, who had a similar past to mine. She, like me, had a rough childhood, destructive parents, and was recused out of that environment and adopted by a Christian family. Here’s where our stories differ-because of her parent’s choices, she had fetal alcohol syndrome, has an IQ of 72, and is mentally unstable and self-destructive.  In my conversation with her, she blamed her current awful life choices on the example her birth parents showed her-even though she left their care by the time she was three.

Now this is why I cried—I did NOTHING to make my story different from hers. I have/had no control over my IQ, the parents who adopted me, the counselors who helped us, my talents, or my personality. AND I WAS OVERWHELMED by the kindness, grace, and mercy of God in my life. Tears welled up in the eyes of this daughter of God who so often forgets to be thankful. It’s not that I’m ungrateful, or unhappy with the life He has given me, it’s just that I literally do not even think about the things He has blessed me with. I’m nothing extraordinary by the world’s standards, but when I thought about all I COULD have been or could have lacked, I couldn’t hold back my tears of gratitude.

Friend, I know there are things about your life and about yourself that you struggle with. I do too! But take time to take your focus off those things, and look at what you do have. Look at what you have been blessed with. Look at all the unearned gifts God has graciously given you! Your mind, your talents, your interests, your freedoms, your joys, your health—He GAVE that to you. Out of love. For a purpose.

Because of our faith in a good & sovereign God, believers should be the most grateful and humble of all mankind. It doesn’t come naturally, we have to meditate on truth until it sinks into our hearts. And I have found, that when gratitude and trust becomes a default for my heart, a thousand problems are solved at once.

 

 

2 thoughts on “Why I Cried Last Week

  1. Betty,
    I really loved your heart and thoughts in this post. You have spoken such truth about the good gifts that we take for granted, like our intellect, abilities to read and study interesting things, the gift of knowing God and having His grace and mercy in our lives.
    I went to the wedding of a quadriplegic friend last week and God gave me a similar awareness to yours as I watched him say his vows, cry and need his bride to wipe the tears from his face.
    Thank you for your transparency and courage to be yourself.
    You are a blessing,
    Kim Florio

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