My Friend Had an Abortion

Many times when Christians confront abortion they forget while defending the life of a small human, that they are deeply impacting (usually negatively) the life of an adult human. I know I might get negative feedback on this post, because I don’t come down on abortion as harshly as I’ve been trained to…it’s just…when you know the woman behind the womb, when you see her wrestle with the hardest decision she’s ever had to make-it’s hard to be hateful. She is smart, and sensitive, and sweet. This may not be perfect, but these are my thoughts to her:

To the Unexpected Expectant Mother,

Tomorrow morning, you are scheduled to have your abortion.

My love for you is not now, nor will it ever be- based on what you do or do not do. You are an incredible, beautiful, wonderful young woman, and no matter what happens-I will always be here, loving you. I, of course, don’t want you to go through with the abortion. I want your baby to live. I can’t imagine your pain right now- and I don’t pretend to. I can’t understand what a difficult decision this is, and all the emotional ramifications of everything- but just know that my heart breaks for you and your little son or daughter.

Though please don’t fear my judgment or my condemnation-for I have none to bring to you. I will not be standing on my Christian-bred, evangelical, conservative, republican soapbox reciting facts and statistics to you, or telling you skewed analogies of what I think you are doing. I won’t point my finger at you confused at your numbness to life because I know that isn’t the case. I know you’ve thought about this. I can understand your fears, and worries, and doubts. You are a loving and lovely young woman. I trust that in your mind you are making the wisest and best decision possible for all who are involved. I know you want to bring a child into this world as a result of a loving marriage-not an accident with an almost stranger. I know you want to bring a child into this world when you are ready to be the best mom you can be.

If truth be told, dear friend, if I were in your shoes…they would be want to be walking up the stairs of the abortion clinic too.  I can imagine. I would be terrified; I would be anxious and tormented. But no amount of people telling me that the baby is a human, that it has fingerprints, that it can dream-would stop me. No one could convince me that I’ll regret not having it more than I would regret having it. No one could talk me into believing that maybe it’ll draw the father and I closer together, maybe it’ll help him grow, maybe, maybe, maybe. No. None of that would stop me. I would have outweighed the cons with the pros, and counteracted each positive thought with an equally negative one. I would convince myself it isn’t a life. It would be much easier this way. I would conclude too, that the temporary pain would be worth escaping the life long pain. I would do the same thing that you are doing tomorrow at 10:15am.

I would get an abortion too…

if it weren’t for Jesus Christ.

The only thing-the ONLY thing-that would stop me, would be Jesus. I know that sounds strange to you; you don’t know Him like I do. But trust me when I say, He is the only reason I wouldn’t go through with what would make sense in my mind to do. Only knowing Him, and trusting that He would work this out for my good. Only knowing that He already has plans for both my life, and my baby’s life. Only understanding how He views and values life, and that nothing happens by chance. Only knowing that He promises that HE will carry my burdens, and give me rest. Only knowing that His grace will be sufficient for every situation, and that I will never be alone. Only with Him would I choose life for my baby. I couldn’t and wouldn’t do it without Him. HE would be my only hope and my only answer.

My dear, I know you haven’t figured out exactly how you feel/what you think about God. But know that the One I love and believe in-wants you to know Him. And He can help you through every trial, will love you through any decision, and has a plan for every life.

I love you forever, and am here for you always.
Your Friend,

6 thoughts on “My Friend Had an Abortion

  1. I like your standalone sentence “If it weren’t for Jesus Christ.” The Bible makes it very clear that if it weren’t for the saving transformation Christ works within us, there’d be nothing stopping us from becoming the next Adolf Hitler, the next Josef Stalin, the next Pol Pot, just to name a few extremes. When we forget this simple doctrine, too easily we forget the sin the unsaved person committed is a result of him or her being a sinner, stuck in a sinful nature which he or she cannot escape on his or her own. The sin nature naturally leads them to sin. Therefore, the cure is not judging and condemning them with facts, statistics and skewed analogies. Rather, the cure is the unconditional love of Christ, which transforms every human from the inside out.

  2. Graham! Thanks for commenting! And I thought this was perfectly said: “Therefore, the cure is not judging and condemning them with facts, statistics and skewed analogies. Rather, the cure is the unconditional love of Christ, which transforms every human from the inside out.” Praying that Christians grow in their understanding of this basic truth of our faith!

  3. Thanks for this heartfelt post Betty!

    One thought: I wonder how this would read to someone who already has a relationship with Christ who has decided (or is contemplating) having an abortion… maybe someone who decides that it is a decision that is morally acceptable because of their faith.

    I’m sure most of this ‘letter’ would be the same, but I’m interested how the ending might change in response to that person.

    Thanks again for the thoughts!

    In Christ,

  4. Betty, this was written so well…. and so heartfelt… and I feel the exact same way! Thank you so much for sharing.
    Kathleen Stutts

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