I’ll Be that Clingy Girl

With this unexpected Snow Day, I’m able to spend a little extra time today doing something I love to do-laundry! Just kidding, I mean writing! (But I am also doing laundry! *pats self on back*).  So I figured I would take this opportunity to share with you something God has been teaching me. Here goes:

I am not strong.

I used to think that I was, oh yes. On my own, me, Betty,  I used to think that I was a strong, naturally faith-filled woman, and that I could overcome anything that comes my way because I am just so forgiving/wise/kind/what have you. Now I would have never said that out loud! Heavens no! I can’t let my prideful arrogance rear its slightly-unattractive-because-i-wouldn’t-even-really-want-to-call-it-ugly head. I’ll tell people, and even try and convince myself that I am just depending on God for all my various trials in life. It’s not my strength-it’s His! But how could that be?  I clearly depended on myself for strength-because who’s happiness was I investing in? Mine. Whose wisdom was I seeking? Mine. Whose plan was I trying to follow? Mine. The way I lived (and sometimes still live) my daily life definitely reflected that I clearly depended on me.

The older I get, the more ridiculous I realize this is. The more I let myself down, and lead myself astray after I make a decision on my own-I realize, that actually…

i am very, very weak in mind, body, and spirit, and that left to my own devices, i make foolish, self-centered decisions.  i am not wise on my own. i am not naturally forgiving, insightful, or kind. When i turn to worldly “wisdom” or look into my heart (read: deceitful, wicked, foolish heart) I end up in a mess.

The truth is that THE ONLY TIME I HAVE ANY STRENGTH, ANY FAITH, OR CAN OVERCOME ANY OBSTACLE WITH GRACE, WISDOM, OR PEACE IS WHEN CHRIST IS RULING AND REIGNING IN MY LIFE.  I need Him to change my affections, my desires, and my outlook on life every single day. I literally can do nothing good apart from Him. I need Him every hour.

My pride keeps me from acknowledging this desperate need for God. I want to think that I can last a few days on my own-and then run to Him to have Him “fill up my tank” again, and then off I go until I need Him again next week. Realizing that I actually need Him every moment because I am so weak and unselfsustainable makes me uncomfortable at first-I feel like I’m this girl ———–>

…so dependent and needy! Can’t I be just fine on my own for a while? I want to be strong and independent! Need God every moment? Uh…isn’t that a bit much?

No. No it’s not. Because I am weak. When I don’t cling to Him-I fail. For I am so incredibly weak apart from my Savior. So I’ll admit my constant need for Him and I will boast in that, because HIS POWER is seen and rightfully worshipped as STRONG and BEAUTIFUL in my ridiculous weakness.

I need Thee every hour, most gracious Lord;
No tender voice like Thine can peace afford.

I need Thee, O I need Thee;
Every hour I need Thee;
O bless me now, my Savior,
I come to Thee.

I need Thee every hour, stay Thou nearby;
Temptations lose their power when Thou art nigh.

I need Thee every hour, in joy or pain;
Come quickly and abide, or life is in vain.

I need Thee every hour; teach me Thy will;
And Thy rich promises in me fulfill.

I need Thee every hour, most Holy One;
O make me Thine indeed, Thou blessèd Son.

My dear friends, let’s not depend on our own strength. It will fail us. Let’s admit our dependence on Him and embrace our need to be clingy. He will never fail us.

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