In my journals, probably written about a hundred different times, I write “TRUST GOD”.
I know in my head that He is ABSOLUTELY trustworthy, that He is PERFECTLY loving, and that He is INTIMATELY invested.
I understand that it is silly to put my trust in my own strength or “wisdom”.
Yet still, I doubt. My heart distrusts His goodness and His faithfulness to me in my life. Though I have seen it displayed COUNTLESS times, I wonder if in a particular instance He doesn’t really care about my heartache. I think He cannot really be all sufficient in this situation. Maybe-though He took care of me, here, here, here, and here-He will not come through here. Even though I saw Him glorified in me through this circumstance-maybe this time, He won’t be able to pull it off. Maybe I need something else. Maybe this isn’t going to turn out for any sort of good at all. Maybe this season of silence is going to be a long term thing-for no reason at all.
And I don’t necessarily say all this out loud. I may not even THINK it so precisely. But my lack of faith and trust in my Savior is incredibly evident. A wandering heart reflects it. An anxious spirit reflects it. A lack of joy reflects it. Discontentment reflects it. Idolatry reflects it.
So what can we/should we do to combat this trustlessness? I know we don’t want to live like that! We want to be people of God MARKED by faith. People whose confidence and trust is so deeply imbedded in the character and nature of Christ that we cannot be shaken. How do we get there? Growing in faith requires grace driven effort. We have to CONFESS that we are basically calling God a liar when we don’t have faith in Him. We have to CHOOSE to seek God through prayer and His word. And we have to COMMIT to replacing lies of distrust with truths of faithfulness.
He doesn’t care about my heartache- False. Read Psalm 34:18.
I need more than what God is offering- Wrong. What you need you have. 2 Corinthians 12:9.
God has abandoned me- Not a chance. Hebrews 13:5. (want more? Nothing is going to stop God’s love for you-Romans 8:38-39)
Nothing good can come of this- How about sanctification? Check out Romans 8:28-90
And that is just the tip of the iceberg! Be in the Word steadfastly enough to know His character and you will grow in your faith in Him. Ask fellow believers to tell you “faith growing moments” in their journey with God. Have those closest to you keep you accountable in faith by calling you out when they see your anxious spirit. Choose to trust Him, choose to love Him, choose to praise Him. You won’t regret it.